Grief Isn’t Linear – And That’s Okay

Before we begin, please know that this is an emotional topic, and we have handled it with care. Our goal is not to upset but to provide support and comfort. Please be mindful of your own wellbeing before reading. If today isn’t the right day, that’s okay—you can always come back to this when you’re ready.

Grief is love with nowhere to go. It’s the ache in your chest when you hear a song that reminds you of them. It’s the lump in your throat when you reach for the phone before remembering they’re no longer there to pick up. Some days, it feels like you can breathe again. Other days, it crashes over you like a wave, knocking you off your feet.

If you’ve ever felt like you should be ‘over it’ by now, please take a deep breath and be gentle with yourself. Grief doesn’t work like that. It isn’t a straight road leading to ‘better.’ It’s a winding path, a tide that pulls in and out. And despite what the world might tell you, there’s no timeline, no rules, no ‘right way’ to grieve.

There’s No One Way to Grieve

You might have heard about the five stages of grief—denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. And while this framework has helped many people put words to their feelings, it’s not a checklist. Grief isn’t neat. It doesn’t follow a predictable order. One day, you might feel okay. The next, you might feel like the loss is brand new again.

You are not broken for feeling this way. You are not ‘doing grief wrong.’ You are simply human, carrying the weight of love that still longs for the person who is gone.

The Waves of Grief

Grief doesn’t disappear, but it does change. Over time, the sharp edges soften. The waves don’t come as often, and when they do, they don’t always knock you down. But in the early days—or even years later when you least expect it—the wave can feel huge.

So what do you do when you feel yourself being pulled under?

Practical Ways to Ride the Waves

• Anchor yourself in the present. When the emotions feel too big, focus on something small—your breath, the feeling of the ground beneath your feet, the warmth of a cup of tea in your hands. These small sensory moments can help bring you back to now.
• Write it down. Grief can be overwhelming, and sometimes, words feel tangled inside us. Writing can be a way to untangle them, to express what’s too hard to say aloud. If you’re not sure where to start, try:
  • If I could tell them something today, it would be…
  • One thing I miss the most is…
  • A memory that makes me smile is…
• Say their name. Sometimes, the world moves on too quickly, and it can feel like your person is slipping further away. But talking about them, sharing their stories, keeping their name alive—this can be healing. It’s okay to miss them. It’s okay to still love them. That love doesn’t have to disappear just because they’re gone.

Be Gentle With Yourself

There will be days when you feel okay, and then there will be days when grief sneaks up on you. A birthday. A song. A scent in the air that reminds you of Sunday afternoons together. Those moments can be painful, but they are also proof of love. The depth of your grief is a reflection of the depth of your love.

You don’t have to rush through this. There is no ‘getting over it,’ only learning to carry it differently. And you don’t have to do it alone. If the weight feels too heavy, please reach out—to a friend, a support group, or a professional who can walk this road with you.

Grief is not a sign of weakness. It is a sign of love. And love, even in loss, is never wasted.

If you’re struggling today, please know this: you are not alone. You are allowed to feel what you feel. And when the waves come, I hope you remember that you have the strength to keep going, one breath at a time. 💛